HOSSAM MADHOUN’S MESSAGES ABOUT HIS EXPERIENCES DURING THE ISRAELI ATTACK ON GAZA IN 2014
3 July 2014
Hi Jonathan, can I talk to you. I guess I can. We are friends!
( Often the messages were sent to Az Theatre Director, Jonathan Chadwick; Hossam agreed we could publish them)
It is 7am Gaza time and until now I did not sleep, yes, there were bombing, but that was not the reason, I went to bed many times, a mosquito bit me, but also this is not the reason.
I am afraid my friend, afraid of losing my faith, I feel that some of the principles I believed in are shocked, did you see the attached photo, did you see those eyes, I am unable to escape from them, they are invading my soul,
Mohammed Abu Kdeir’s mother was shouting today: bring him to me, I will hug him and he would come back to life … she said it, believing in it, just a hug from a mother and the dead son will come back to life.
Revenge is no more than running after a dog who bit you in order to bite him (Gandhi said), I am sorry, but for the first time in my life I want to bite that dog.
The eyes of this boy and the words of his mother is asking me to do something, and you know what, I am helpless, I can do nothing, but not sleep and sit alone write to you about I don’t know what.
I feel so tired.
Do I ignore that there were 3 Israelis kidnapped and killed with cold blood??! Do I?
Today, yes I do, i felt so bad for them, I felt very angry against the kidnappers, the killers, but today, I just don’t think about them, I think about Mohammad the 16 years old boy who was kidnapped, killed and burned by the Israeli settlers, I think about the other 12 Palestinians who have been killed since the kidnap of the settlers, I think about the 100 Palestinian injured since the kidnap of the settlers, I think about the bombing of Gaza, for no reason from Gaza, since the kidnap of the settlers, I think about the 2000 houses searched since the kidnap of the settlers, I think about the 665 Palestinians arrested without being charged or even accused of something but of being Palestinian, since the kidnap of the settlers
I think it is Mahmoud Darwish who said that the dead do not feel pain, only us the living feel the pain, I am in a deep pain, my friend
I am trying my best to find the wisdom and look for any reasonable excuse to overcome my feelings, I know that wars create graves and cemeteries, and that there are no enemies in cemeteries (quote from a movie: heaven and earth!) but help me God, I am unable to be wise
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