Author: admin

20 April 2024

In Egypt, in Gaza 

In Egypt

Sleeping in a comfortable bed, the mobile alarm waking me up at 6:30 in the morning, taking Buddy for the morning walk, 20 minutes of calm and joyful walking. Back home, taking a hot shower, having the morning coffee, eating a light breakfast, putting on my outdoor clothes. On my way to the office, meeting smiling people, enjoying or annoyed by the street noise, arguing the taxi price, Fayrooz singing on the taxi radio, nice start of the day. Streets full of cars, people everywhere, normal people, walking, talking. Arrive at the office, welcome colleagues, have a break for lunch at 1:30 with a sandwich at a nearby cafeteria, back to the office, work, send emails, reply to emails, prepare plans for the next day.  

Going back home, hot day, the driver puts on the air conditioning, a song of Om Kalthoum on the radio, covering the street noise. Arriving home, Abeer and Salma are waiting for me, they spent the day in the mall, went to a movie and did some shopping therapy. They are smiling and relaxed. Having a warm shower, changing clothes, putting on soft clothes, lying down on the sofa, putting on the TV, not watching anything in particular, just having the TV on, moving lazily between channels. Abeer and Salma calling me for lunch, big meal, salads and main dish with meat and rice, eating and chatting, cleaning the dishes.  Make some coffee, sit on the terrace, smoking and listening to some music. Abeer is on her laptop following up some of her work, Salma in her room studying for her master’s degree, and I pet and tap on the back of my dog, Buddy.   

In Gaza   

Sleeping on a very hard, uncomfortable mattress, waking up at 22h00 to the sound of bombing, trying to sleep again. Waking us at 12:30 am, a drone is very close with its harmful sound. Trying to sleep again, waking up due to backache, trying to sleep, waking up to my bedridden mother calling to move her body to another side, trying to sleep. An air strike nearby wakes me up again, trying to sleep, the dawn prayer calling in the mosque prevents me from sleeping. It is 4:50 am, trying to sleep, my mother calls again. Still trying to sleep… gave up sleeping, going out with Buddy for a walk, no joy, not comfortable, obliged to fight my inner fear and anxiety. Back home in 7 – 8 minutes. No shower, no clothes to change, no breakfast, just eat whatever is available. 

I put on my shoes, go to the office, no regular taxis, walking 20 minutes to get there. People in the streets are walking silently, heads down and faces unshaven, like me. Shoeless children. During the night new homes were damaged. On my way to the office, it is quiet, no noise but the sound of the drones in the sky, until I arrive at the market. There, there is loud noise, huge crowds, thousands of salesmen and children selling food and aid items. Arriving at the office, I open my laptop and wait for emails to download. It takes time, the internet is very weak. I look at the emails, have no desire to work, ignoring many of them, responding to the most urgent emails only. I feel sick, uncomfortable, leave the office, go down to the market with no purpose, walking, looking at the people around me, trying to find one face with a smile, even a fake smile; there are none.

Buying whatever is available of food for lunch, back to the office, not making any effort to see if there are any new emails, close my laptop, say goodbye, leave the office, go back home. Out of the market area, away from the noise, in the street going home, there are no sounds any more but the sound of the drone, as if it is following me, in fact it does; it follows each and every one in Gaza, everyone feels the same. 

Arriving home, doing nothing, waiting for the time to pass until sunset, taking Buddy for the evening walk, and again, no joy, not comfortable, back home in 5 minutes. Dark falls and all fear of darkness fills my heart and my head. Trying to sleep, dreaming of sleep. Can’t sleep. 

To Egypt

Friday 11th April after one month of very anxious waiting, our names were on the HALA list to travel.  Left home at 6.30am, arriving at the border in 15 minutes.  The Palestinian side started the process of letting people in the Departures Hall at 8.  Have no idea why they asked us to arrive at 7am!

The hall was very full, complete anarchy, no order, official staff are shouting at people here and there.  It took us 2 hours to get out after the passport check and to get the bus to the Egyptian side.

At the Egyptian side everything is absurd and nothing is normal.

We were on the first bus to enter the Egyptian side, yet they kept us waiting one hour inside the bus; we can never know or ask why.

Entering the Welcome Hall.  It’s supposed to be a VIP space with VIP services.  The hall with good chairs, enough for 50-70 people, yet there were 500 people.  There was the cafeteria which is supposed to provide free drinks and snacks.  The servants were shouting at people, treating us impolitely and we don’t know why.

The passport checks normally take 30 minutes to an hour.  They kept us waiting until 4pm.  We don’t know why!

We had our dog, Buddy, with us inside a special animal box.  He was barking sadly from time to time, and the comments we receive from people are really tough.  It seems no-one saw it as normal to take a dog out.

We arrived at 10.30pm.  That’s good, some people were arriving after midnight.  

Salma, our daughter, Salma was there in the street waiting for us.  I don’t know and I cant find the words to explain how it was, the next hour with Salma, after six months under the bombing without seeing her.  I leave this to your imagination.

I went to take a shower.  There was this big mirror in the bathroom.  First time I see my full body for six months.  This is not me.  Much older than I used to be, as if it were years that had passed since I saw my face, my arms, my body, my legs, very thin, looking like Joaquin Pheonix in the movie, Joker.

I thought to myself, maybe better to see a doctor.  I told Abeer.  She and Salma said, you must.

I already know that my sudden weight loss is mostly because of stress.

We went to a doctor.  He asked for several blood analyses and an abdomen ultrasound scan.

The second day the results were ready; we went back to the doctor.

Due to severe malnutrition, I had anaemia and vitamin D deficiency.

He prescribed some medications, vitamin D injections, multi-vitamin supplements and a list of foods that I should increase in my diet.

That’s not a big deal.  I can afford, find and take them and things will be ok.

How many people are malnourished in Gaza now?  How many children are anaemic in Gaza now? UNICEF said that 1 in 3 children in Gaza are suffering severe malnutrition.  I believe this is a conservative estimate.  I believe there are 3 out of 3 children in Gaza are malnourished and suffering from many other diseases as well as anaemia.

What about those orphan children, more than 20,000 orphans in Gaza?  Are they being taken care of?  Are they provided with proper food by their new carers?

Is there any end to this genocide?

Buddy and the drone

As every dog needs to walk, I have to walk my dog, Buddy. Buddy is a naughty dog, not friendly with strangers or children. If anyone approaches him, he will bark aggressively. So, I had to walk with him at times when the streets are almost empty. And due to the war and bombing and fear of people, early mornings and early evenings, the streets are empty. People are afraid to go out, waiting until full daylight to start moving out. They are afraid of being targets by unseen, but very well heard drones.

I am not less afraid than others, but I have no choice.  Buddy needs to go out, to walk, and to do his natural business.

At six in the morning and at 7 in the evening I take Buddy and go out. The streets are empty, dismal, not comfortable at all. Drone noise in the sky, getting close, feels as if it is inside my ears. I walk with Buddy and feel the fear and uncertainty. How many people, civilians, were targeted by these drones? The soldiers behind the screen controlling the drones are using it as a video game. They see the Palestinians as images not humans, and they treat Palestinians as if they are the evil ones in a video game. They target them and shoot them to record more scores,

I walk and can’t stop thinking of those soldiers behind the screen controlling the drones, who are watching me! What do they think about me? Will they consider me as a target? Maybe the image of a human with a dog in the cursed land of Gaza will provoke them. Maybe they will feel that this image must not exist in Gaza. I walk and I have these thoughts in my head, increasing my fear. It happened several times that I had to cut short the walk after a few minutes because of the feeling of anxiety and of not being safe. Poor Buddy, what he has to go through! Poor us, what we have to go through!

12 April 2024

Hypocrisy

A few months ago, the US president and several members of his administration began saying that Netanyahu is the problem. Now, several countries in the West are repeating this statement. All the world’s media are repeating it blindly.

Dear World, Netanyahu is not the problem, Netanyahu was never the problem! The problem is the long-lasting military occupation. The problem is the mindset of the Israelis, of whom 76% are completely in favour of the daily killing and genocide committed against Palestinians during the last 6 months and over more than 75 years. The problem is the Israeli colonial and apartheid regime. The problem is with the Israeli mentality which has created ministers asking to bomb Gaza with nuclear weapons, and who no one holds accountable. The problem is the hypocritical world which witnesses the daily massacres and purposeful starvation of 2.3 million people, and which does not move a muscle. The problem is a world which every minute witnesses the complete violation of all international human rights and humanitarian law and keeps saying that Israel has the right to defend itself.

The problem is a world with double standards, which does not see Palestinians as human beings.

Shall we Palestinians pray to be Ukrainians with blue eyes and blond hair to be considered human beings?

World, do you know that the Israeli army killed more than 17,000 children in 187 days, an average of almost 100 children every day?

Do you know that the Israeli army, against all humanitarian laws, forcibly displaced more than 1.5 million people inside a very tiny place and now prevents them from going back to their demolished houses? Do you know that the Israeli army, in violation of all international humanitarian laws, destroyed 41 hospitals out of 50 serving 2.3 million people?

World! Do you know that the Israelis have killed more than 33,000 people and injured more than 75,000, 76 percent of whom are women and children?

World! Do you know that the Israeli army systematically destroyed more than 60% of the Gaza Strip housing units, leaving more than 1.5 million people without shelter?

World! Do you know that the Israeli army imposed a blockade on Gaza for more than 16 years making it the biggest prison on earth?

World! Do you know that the Israeli army turned Gaza into the biggest cemetery on earth?

World! I can continue listing thousands of details about the criminal acts of the Israelis against Palestinians in Gaza and the West bank, starting with the more than 400 military checkpoints in the West Bank that turn people’s lives there into hell, and continuing with the daily confiscations of Palestinian land there.

Dear World, Netanyahu is absolutely a problem, but not the problem. Israel itself, with its racist mentality and the hypocrisy of the Western countries are the main problems.

10 April 2024

Six months

Six months?! Has it really already been six months since we lost our normal lives? Since our lives were frozen at a killing point? Six months since we lost our past and present? Six months since we stopped planning for our future?

Six months since the killing machine of the Israeli army has been going through our bodies like a knife goes through butter.

Six months of fear, panic, bleeding, death, destruction, damage to homes and souls.

Six months of famine, thirst, and sickness.

Six months and dead people are buried everywhere but in cemeteries.

Six months and all human feelings and emotions have become limited to fear, sadness, anger, loss, and despair, with no other feelings in Gaza.

Six months and 33,360 people slaughtered in cold blood, more than 15,400 of whom are children.

Six months and 75,993 human beings injured, bleeding, amputated, and no proper health treatment.

Six months and I can’t reach my own home.

Six months holding the key to my front door, wondering when I will be able to use it.

Six months and I can’t meet my brothers and sisters in Gaza and the north.

Six months and my brothers and sisters can’t see their old, sick mother.

Six months and men have no jobs.

Six months and children have become sellers in the streets instead of going to school.

Six months and women are begging in the streets.

Six months and the only wish of 2.3 million people is to be able to secure their daily meal and a proper tent to spend the night in.

Six months with the sleep of 2.3 million people disturbed by the sounds of explosions, bombings, the buzz of drones, and by their fear of now and of then.

Six months and 2.3 million people do not dream at night, they only have nightmares waking them up and disturbing their sleep.

Six months and 2.3 million people hope to sleep for once, in peace and quiet.

Six months… Is there any end to this nightmare?

New task

The organisation I work for is receiving funding for a new project, a warranty for 5000 orphaned children. It is to care for and to pay all living and education expenses for the 5000 children until the age of 18 years old.

I will be managing this project.

I’ve been tasked to start collecting the information and the data needed about the orphans.

I asked my staff, my colleagues who are in the field providing psychosocial support for the children in the shelters, to feed me back with the information.

During the last three days I started to receive the information. Every day, every hour, every minute, until this moment, I received 7382 children who have lost one or both of their parents in this genocide.

Not Comparing, Just Saying

7 April 2024

Israel is using artificial intelligence (Al), to identify targets in Gaza through mobile numbers and sim cards, as a scientific experiment.

Do you know what that means?

Examples: A doctor receives a phone call from a member of Hamas asking for an appointment for health treatment for himself or any one of his family. The doctor is identified by the Al as a target, and he is bombed with all of his family.

A car mechanic calls a client to come and get his car after fixing it. The client is by chance a Hamas member, so the Al identifies the mechanic as a target and then he is bombed along with his family.

A teacher calls a parent to come to the school because his son is a troublemaker. The parent is Hamas, so the teacher is identified by the Al as a target, and he and his family are bombed.

By using this Al scientific experiment, Israel has killed thousands of innocent men, women, boys, girls, old people, and even babies, and has destroyed thousands of houses.

In WW2, and in one of the most horrible and terrifying crimes against humanity, the Nazis used Jewish people in scientific experiments to develop medicine.

Not comparing, just saying….

Counting

Waking up after a sleepless night, bombing from time to time disturbs my sleep, my mother whining in the other room wakes me, the thoughts in my head keep me from sleeping. My eyes are shut and images of numbers are running in front of my eyes. 32,000 killed! 75,000 injured! 17,000 children killed! 1000 children amputated!

Nothing happening, the numbers increasing everyday and nothing is happening, the world continues as if nothing wrong is happening.

6 international humanitarian workers killed!!!

Also, nothing is happening but some noise here and there. And then nothing is happening, the world continues as if nothing wrong is happening. 

And I keep counting.

Escaping

3 April 2024

Escaping: A sick man said, “I eat canned food only. I know it makes me sick and that I am slowly dying, but it is the only food I can afford.”

 

Escaping: A husband said, “I divorced my wife and sent her with our only baby to her family, I can’t feed them.” (There have been thousands of divorce cases since last October.)

 

Escaping: A wife said, “My husband disappeared 3 months ago, and we thought he was killed. But today, someone told us that he is in Cairo! He left me alone with 3 children.”

 

Escaping: A middle-aged man said, “I steal, yes, I steal furniture from bombed houses, I steal food aid. I need to feed my children. I don’t feel any shame.”

 

Escaping: A young woman said, “I will give myself to you for 50 Shekels, I need to buy milk and food for my parents and younger sisters.”

 

Escaping: A father said, “I sent my children to beg in the streets, I have no job or money to feed them.”

 

Escaping: A mother said, “I left my baby near the mosque and left. I hope some good people will care for her.

 

Escaping: A bride said, “This is the last piece of gold I have, my groom bought it for me before he was killed in Gaza. Please give me a fair price, I have nothing else! He bought it for $1200, the gold buyer said he would give me $300.”

 

Escaping: The child tore apart his books so his mother could use the paper to make fire to heat some food.

 

Escaping: 200,000 Gazans have registered to leave Gaza.

 

Escaping: I know this is not safe water, it will kill me! Who cares?

 

Escaping: I am writing what I feel, what I witness, what I see, what | observe.

 

Who am I to write to you? What am I writing to you? Who am I to ask you to read what I write? I am nothing but another Arab, another Palestinian, another something from Gaza!

 

I am not blond, I have no blue eyes, I don’t speak your language. I don’t eat your food, I don’t practice your rituals, I don’t have the same religion, I don’t look like you, I am nothing but another Palestinian.

 

And who doesn’t know that Palestinians are an extra load on Earth, that they must be vanished so that Israelis can live in peace?

 

5% of the population of Gaza have been doomed, most Gazan buildings have been smashed. In a few years everything will be done. The mission will be accomplished.

 

For Israel, this is the only solution: the Final Solution.